The Impulse of the Moment Read online

  Jane felt her heart lurch within her chest at the mention of that particular gentleman’s name, though she did not allow it to show on her countenance. It seemed she had been successful as none of the rest of the party noticed. In particular, Thomas regarded Mr. Bingley with apparent interest.

  “Is Mr. Darcy the friend of whom you spoke only minutes ago?”

  “He is,” replied Mr. Bingley. “I received a letter from him just yesterday, accepting my invitation for him to visit us this summer. With your wedding approaching, I did not feel it was right to invite him before, but he shall join us soon after.”

  “Mr. Darcy is such a gentlemanly man,” said Mrs. Bingley. “I would be happy to have him attend my daughter’s wedding, but I can understand why he might be made uncomfortable. Though he is Charles’s friend, he is not well known to the rest of the family, after all.”

  “He did stay with us,” replied Caroline. “If you write him again, Charles, inform him we would be happy if he would attend, if he wishes.”

  “Given your brother’s skill with a pen,” said Thomas sotto voce, “I doubt he could decipher it in time to make the journey.”

  “I do possess the ability to write legibly, when I choose,” said Mr. Bingley, leaning back in his chair and fixing Thomas with a grin.

  “And yet, you informed us that ability deserts you when you attempt to utilize it!”

  Again, they all laughed. For her part, Jane’s was forced, for the matter of Mr. Darcy’s upcoming visit was foremost in her mind. Jane still, after four years, did not know what to make of the matter. That he had imposed upon her dearest sister most improperly was beyond dispute—Elizabeth would never speak a falsehood about such a thing. But what manner of man was he? Jane still wished to believe there had been some extenuating circumstance. But Lizzy’s peace of mind was the most important consideration. Could Lizzy be easy with that man in the neighborhood?

  “I doubt he would accept an earlier invitation, regardless,” said Mr. Bingley. “It is my understanding his family is visiting their uncle’s estate at present. I shall be content with his arrival in August, for it has been some months since I have been in his company.”

  “It seems to me you are engaged in some great conspiracy, Bingley,” said Thomas.

  “How so, my friend? And what could this intrigue hope to accomplish?”

  “Why, to prevent me from meeting this Mr. Darcy of whom you speak,” replied Thomas. “Your words of him have been frequent and your attachment firm, and yet I have not made this gentleman’s acquaintance. It always seems that I am in town when he is not or vice versa, or that I arrive at the club only moments after he has left. Even when he visited, I was on the continent and did not return until after he had departed. And now, you propose to invite this gentleman to visit when I am honeymooning, and I shall miss him yet again!”

  “I have never thought of it that way before,” replied Mr. Bingley with a chuckle. “It does seem you have just missed him several times in the past.

  “Thus, my reference to a conspiracy. It almost seems to me you have imagined this gentleman in his entirety.”

  “Well, this time you shall make his acquaintance,” averred Mr. Bingley. “Darcy shall stay some weeks with us, and as he will not arrive until a week or more after your nuptials, I think it likely he will still be here when you return.”

  Jane could not help but shake her head in dismay. Mr. Darcy would be here, and Thomas would not even be present to protect Lizzy!

  Unfortunately, her action was witnessed by Mr. Bingley, for he turned a questioning gaze on her. “Did you not find Mr. Darcy all that was gentlemanly and amiable, Miss Bennet?”

  “Yes, he was gentlemanly, indeed,” replied Jane. In the confines of her mind, she added: To me. Lizzy did not find him nearly so gentlemanly.

  “Mr. Darcy is a good man, indeed,” said Caroline. “I am anticipating making his acquaintance again.”

  “I am not surprised you would,” said Mary with a sly look at her future sister. “For it seemed to me that you spoke of Mr. Darcy so much when he visited that I might almost have thought you held a tendre for him!”

  The sparkle in Mary’s eye reminded Jane greatly of Lizzy. It was a tease Lizzy might have made had she been present. And had she not been importuned as she was at the hand of the man of whom they spoke. Caroline was prepossessed enough to shrug off Mary’s words, though her gaze in response suggested future vengeance.

  “It seems to me all young ladies share an interest in a man new to their acquaintance,” said Thomas, grasping Caroline’s hand and squeezing it. “Had I any doubts of your future sister’s affection, Mary, I might be jealous. As it is, I have no doubt, it shall not bother me a jot.”

  “Of course, you should not, dearest Brother,” said Mary, fixing him with an affectionate smile. “I think half the neighborhood was in love with Mr. Darcy, as he is remarkably well favored. If Caroline was affected by him, I should not blame her at all!”

  “Just you wait until I am mistress of Longbourn, Mary Bennet,” said Caroline with a sniff. “I shall ensure you live in the coop with the chickens, and that you subsist on nothing more than dry bread and water.”

  “I am anticipating your move to Longbourn too, dear Caroline,” replied Mary.

  While the friendly banter continued all around her, Jane found herself too immersed in her own thoughts to participate. This news of Mr. Darcy coming again to Netherfield was worrisome. It may be that Jane’s hope of exculpating circumstances would prove true, but she knew that Lizzy’s peace of mind would be affected with Mr. Darcy’s coming.

  Had Jane not promised to keep her sister’s confidence, she would have informed her brother of the matter. Jane thought Thomas should be informed, for it was his—and their father’s—duty to protect them. But Jane could not bear to think of breaking Elizabeth’s trust, especially when she was so uncertain of the worthlessness of the young man’s character.

  But one thing was certain—Lizzy was due to return to Longbourn within the next few days with their aunt and uncle, and Jane did not relish the prospect of informing her younger sister of the gentleman’s imminent arrival. There was little doubt that Elizabeth would protest that she was well and Mr. Darcy’s presence did not affect her. But she would almost certainly be affected by him, enough that she would avoid him and endeavor to protect herself by always being in company with others. For one as free and spirited as Lizzy Bennet, such restrictions would be difficult to endure.

  There was not a hint of doubt in Jane’s mind that Elizabeth would continue to be the strong, determined individual that she had always been. But Jane, who knew Elizabeth as well as any other person in the world, had been with her sister these past four years. She knew that Elizabeth did not always possess the strength she projected. Many times, Jane had witnessed her wariness when in the company of gentlemen, and while such care was prudent, there was something more to it than simple caution. Elizabeth had been changed irrevocably by the experience. And now the gentleman was to come again.

  Jane did not know what to do.

  Chapter IV

  The sights had been seen, the delights savored, and now it was time to return to the south. Of the places they had visited, Elizabeth knew she would always hold fond memories, though she might never visit them again. Elizabeth had even learned to look back on Pemberley, which had seen the coming of a man she wished to avoid, with a certain fondness. It was a beautiful estate, after all, one of which anyone would have the right to be proud.

  The distances were long, and the time to travel back to Longbourn and then London was not insignificant. As a result, the travelers amused themselves as best they could. While Elizabeth was often to be found gazing out the window at the passing scenery, there was much conversation to be had. For their experiences were still fresh in their minds, and their observations concerning what they had seen readily given. In all, it was pleasant to journey in such a manner with such company.
r />   The discussion of their experiences, Elizabeth found she could well tolerate, for her aunt and uncle were intelligent and observant, and their conversation always interesting. When the talk turned to the situation to which they would return, Elizabeth found herself growing a little less comfortable, though she was unable to determine exactly why.

  “Well, Lizzy,” said her uncle as he noted the carriage crossing into Bedfordshire, “we shall be home before long. Though we have enjoyed our tour, I assume you must be eager to return to Longbourn.”

  “I am, I will own,” replied Elizabeth. “The charming vistas you have shown me will always remain fond memories, and I thank you for inviting me. But the return to one’s own home must be savored, I think.”

  “A good home it is,” said her aunt. “Are you as eager to see your family as you are the paths you often walk?”

  “Indeed, I am. And I am gaining another sister within the month. It is a reason to celebrate.”

  “That is a subject of which I have meant to ask you,” said her uncle. Elizabeth noted his interested look, wondering what it might portend. “With your brother’s marriage, his wife will assume the management of the house, considering your mother’s passing. That will be a significant change for you and Jane, will it not?”

  “More for Jane than me. Jane was the one who took up the role of mistress when my mother passed.”

  “But it will also be a change for you, Lizzy,” asserted Mrs. Gardiner. “Jane is your sister by birth, one trained by your mother to one day manage a house. Miss Bingley is, though she has been known to your family for many years, a newcomer to the estate, and her ideas of what should be done might not mirror your own.”

  “I hardly think that would be a cause for strife,” said Elizabeth with a shaken head. The conversation was confusing, for she could not determine what her relations meant by speaking in such a manner. “Caroline is a sensible woman, and if she serves dinner at a different hour or instructs the maids to their duties in a way I might not, what is it to me?”

  “Nothing, I presume,” replied her aunt. “And yet, there is always the possibility for misunderstanding, and if it is not corrected, discord.”

  “And if I recall,” added her uncle, “you have not always been friendly with Miss Bingley. Is that not correct?”

  “That was a long time in the past,” replied Elizabeth. “I will own that Caroline and I have not always seen eye to eye, but it has not led us to overt conflict. I am quite friendly with her now.”

  “We are happy to hear it, Elizabeth,” said Aunt Gardiner. “Hopefully the transition will proceed in a manner which is easy for you all.”

  “Excuse me,” said Elizabeth, eying her relations with open curiosity, “but I wonder to what these questions portend. Surely you do not suggest we shall be overset with dissention by the introduction of my brother’s wife to our home.”

  “No,” replied Mrs. Gardiner. She turned a fond look on her husband before once again addressing Elizabeth. “It is only that I have experienced such in the past and wished to ensure you are prepared for it. When my mother passed away, I was only a girl, though old enough to remember my mother very well. When my father remarried, it was different—an adjustment for us all.”

  “That is different from my brother marrying and bringing his bride home to our house.”

  “Yes, it is. But it is also similar in many ways. There are always little things which can disrupt a house, particularly as you do not truly know someone until you have lived with them and endured their quirks of character. I do not say that you will rue Miss Bingley’s entrance into your home. But there will almost certainly be times when you disagree or when hard feelings may arise.”

  “If you should require distance,” added Mr. Gardiner, “you are always welcome to stay with us in London. For that matter, should Jane or Mary require a respite, they are welcome to come too.”

  Elizabeth shook her head and directed a wry smile at her relations. “What you say has merit, I will confess. For myself, I thank you for the invitation. As Caroline and I are both of a stubborn bent, I suspect there will be times when we do not agree, and Mary may agree with me. As for Jane—can you imagine her ever being at odds with anyone, enough to wish to flee to the safety of your home?”

  They all laughed at Elizabeth’s observation, which was no less than the truth. Jane was the soul of contentment, one who could never imagine being anything other than amiable with everyone she met, particularly one she had considered a friend for many years.

  “Perhaps you are correct with respect to Jane,” replied Uncle Gardiner.

  “As for my brother,” said Elizabeth, “I am quite happy for him, regardless of the changes it will bring to my home. Though I have, in the past, butted heads with Caroline, I consider her to be good for my brother. He has admired her for many years. If it should become necessary, I will consider your invitation and will be happy to impose upon your hospitality.” Elizabeth grinned and arched an eyebrow at her relations. “In fact, I suspect I shall impose upon it in any case, as I have many times.”

  “And we shall be happy to have you, Lizzy,” said Aunt Gardiner, patting her hand with affection. “Only send us a note, and we will receive you at any time.”

  “What of your elder sister?” asked Mr. Gardiner. “It seems to me Thomas has not been the only one admiring another. Do you expect Mr. Bingley will ever come to the point with Jane?”

  “I suspect he has wished to for some time,” replied Elizabeth. “He is yet a young man—not even five and twenty. After university and his grand tour, I believe he thought it essential to learn all he could of the management of Netherfield before he could offer for Jane. Once the harvest is in and he is able to focus more of his attention on her, I suspect they will come to an understanding quite quickly.”

  “Your happiness for your sister is evident, Lizzy,” said Mrs. Gardiner.

  “Who could not be happy for Jane? Yes, I am very happy for her, for she is most deserving of it. And she has admired Mr. Bingley for a very long time. Consequently, I suspect she will not be required to endure Caroline’s management of Longbourn house for long, for she will undoubtedly be engaged before the end of the year.”

  “Then what will your future be?”

  Her uncle’s question took Elizabeth by surprise, and she faltered for a moment in confusion. “I do not know,” replied Elizabeth when she had gathered her wits. “There is no one in Meryton or its environs I could see myself marrying.”

  “Not even your father’s cousin?”

  Elizabeth shook her head in amusement. “Not even him. While the estates in the neighborhood are much smaller than Longbourn or Netherfield, you know I would be happy if I truly esteemed the man I was marrying. But there is no one there in whom I have the slightest interest. Even Samuel Lucas, who is a cut above the rest of the gentlemen in the neighborhood, would not suit me, nor I him, though I know his mother would eagerly accept me as a daughter.”

  “Then perhaps it is to London you should look to find a husband,” said Aunt Gardiner. “Your family is well known in the circles you keep.”

  “Perhaps,” said Elizabeth, careful to remain noncommittal. “But I am not yet one and twenty, and I have no desire to search for a husband at present. For now, there is Thomas’s wedding to consider, and then Jane’s will follow not long after. Once my elder siblings are safely married, I might consider my future.”

  “I hope you successfully find a husband, Lizzy,” said Mrs. Gardiner with affection. “It is correct that you still have plenty of time. But you have so much love to give—it would be a shame if you remained unmarried.”

  “I shall attempt to avoid disappointing you,” replied Elizabeth with a grin. “The notion of marriage is not onerous, I assure you. I simply do not believe I must be in a rush to find someone at present. But while I am not impatient to look for a husband, if a suitable man comes along, I shall not spurn him.”

  The Ga
rdiners seemed to accept Elizabeth’s assurances, and for a time, they were silent. For Elizabeth’s part, she felt all the lie of her own words in the deep recesses of her heart. It was true that she did not feel any need to rush into marriage at the present time. But when she thought of marriage and considered the possibility of it, especially when compared to the easy manner in which her elder siblings had found their life partners, she wondered if it would be as simple for her to do likewise.

  If Elizabeth decided not to marry, she knew she could live comfortably and not regret that which did not come to pass. Her brother would forever welcome her at Longbourn, she knew, and she could always live with Jane. Furthermore, her dowry was such that if she was required to do so, she could live in comfort should she choose it.

  In the back of her mind, in a dark recess of which she did not like to think, nor would she confess to anyone—even dearest Jane—the thought of marriage would bring the image of Mr. Darcy to mind. Given the actions of that gentleman and the secret she had hidden the past four years, Elizabeth wondered if marriage was even a possibility.

  Elizabeth’s homecoming was all she could ever wish. Welcomed by family she had long missed, she and the Gardiners were accepted into the bosom of the family with the true pleasure of those sundered, while the children, who had been at Longbourn during their tour, were clearly happy to see their parents.

  As they settled in after their long journey, the Gardiners were given a room to stay and rest themselves for the final leg of their journey back to London. Elizabeth was eager to return to her own room with its familiar comfort to rest for the remainder of the afternoon. They made a boisterous company that evening, with even her father joining them, informing Elizabeth how happy he was for her return. As Elizabeth had always been his intellectual companion in a way that even Thomas had not, she accepted his welcome, informing him that she was glad to be returned to her home.